1. |
Fragile
01:12
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You ask me why I’m still here.
I remember skipping stones with sand beneath my feet,
We made a castle built for kings, or at least me and all my friends.
I remember how I fortified my walls; I dug a moat around my fortress
Told the Ocean, “Give me all you’ve got, my house can handle it.”
The Sky hasn’t been that blue in over a decade
You ask me why I’m still here.
I have nowhere else to go
I built this house to handle high tide, not fire and brimstone
The walls came down like Jericho, the sky turned black
My friends turned to ash and my castle turned to glass
And now this fragile little house is all I have
Please, don’t skip stones near my glass house.
It’s too fragile.
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2. |
Glass House
03:42
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I can’t see past myself
I can no longer breathe
My head won’t wrap around
These thoughts inside of me
I’ve been treading water
Trying to keep my head above of the waves
Sinking in my sorrows till tomorrow turns today
I’ve been building up a wall to keep my troubled thoughts at bay, thinking,
“Here lies me, my hopes and dreams, and my mistakes”
They told me, “Don’t forget how much you love to swim, it’s how you get by.”
They don’t understand I won’t remember in the riptide
Seen far too many to people stranded, lost without purpose
My only hope is if I finally make it back this shit was worth it
Don’t skip stones near my glass house
I’m fragile enough
One more crack and my foundation
Finds it place in the dust
I might break down, who’s to say when?
Who’s to say how?
Losing faith in saviors say they’re coming any day now
Break out,
That ship has sailed i’ve not been saved
Louder when the weather’s fine and softer when it rains
I’ve been treading water as of late
Trying to keep my head above the waves
I can’t see past myself
I can no longer breathe
My head won’t wrap around
These thoughts inside of me
I am nothing if not a creature of habit,
I think I’ve had it
I’m nothing without the demons I keep locked up in my attic
I know one to my addicts to be acting how I’m acting
Can you separate the person from the practice? I didn’t think so
Stuck in a cycle I’m stuck in the same
No thriller, No Michael, I’m stuck in my ways
I’m a product of my own problems
Can’t drop a project, I don’t got one.
Exhibit A why I won’t make it
Woah, why am I so temperamental?
Don’t get too close
Take the sentiments you’re holding to and let them go
If I have to let you know, I’ll let you know
I’m better off without you,
If you think this is about you, it’s not
This is about a person I don’t wanna be, gon’ throw away my shot
I’m not gon’ throw away my passion, I know one too many addicts to be acting how I’m acting
I’m nothing if not a creature of habit
I can’t see past myself
I can no longer breathe
My head won’t wrap around
These thoughts inside of me
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I can’t
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I can’t
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I can’t
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I can’t
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3. |
||||
Meet me in the garden
Gotta water my ambitions
I don’t wanna be alarmist
I don’t trust water under bridges
Bucket full, don’t fuck it up
Bucket dry when the sun is up
Where do you run when the fun is up?
Where do you run when you when your luck is dry,
when there’s nothing left,
when you run inside
and it’s sudden death?
In another life,
in another head
Give it a try
Give it a rest
Give it a try
Give it a rest
I could probably make it out of this
Something hidden in my mattresses
Satisfy me with a palindrome, take my matters home
with my malices
It’s a crazy world
when your off your axis
They don’t know me
When they say i’ve had it
Maybe one day i’ll be breaking habits
There’s a better Sasha in my trailing shadow
It’s a long way home
For a half-baked poet with a sad face
Wrote it when they asked what’s wrong
Whispered, “I should hold my tongue”
Give it a try give it a rest
Give it a try give it a rest
You’ll need me when the night runs dry
You’ll need me when I’m feeling low
In the garden
I will go reap the seeds that I have sown
Give it a rest, give it a rest, give it a rest
Give it a try, tried your best, give it a rest
Give it a rest, give it a rest, give it a rest
Give it a try, tried your best, give it a rest
All I need was a stone’s throw away
from Heaven’s gate
Don’t know if it will ever change
Lord knows there’s a better day
When it settles we could make a real sweet home
I need some way to count my losses
Make it outside my closet
I been alone too often
I been alone so long
All this empty in my stomach makes it easier to vomit
Tried to find what I had lost I think it’s buried in the garden
All I needed was a call, I’m sinking deeper into darkness
I could leave here in a minute
Maybe meet you in the garden
Gotta water my ambitions
I don’t wanna be alarmist
I don’t trust water under bridges
Bucket full, don’t fuck it up
Bucket dry when the sun is up
Where do you run when the fun is up?
You’ll need me when the night runs dry
You’ll need me when I’m feeling low
In the garden
I will go reap the seeds that I have sown
Give it a rest, give it a rest, give it a rest
Give it a try, tried your best, give it a rest
Give it a rest, give it a rest, give it a rest
Give it a try, tried your best, give it a rest
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4. |
She Don't Get It
03:17
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She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
I’m on the highway hitting 110 and wondering when the summer ends
I need another minute
I do it my way, my way, with no room to squeeze
I only do it for me, so why you hanging on?
Reading the writing on the walls in the bathroom stalls
I get called out like every seven inches
She the type that expects you to call her but my phone been broken
I can’t remember seven digits
Got me tripping
And my memory slipping
I get it, I got it, I’m good, It’s gone
In the thick of it, under the influence
Under the bridge, could run away in under a minute
Could leave you standing at the altar in front of all of your friends
I can’t be trusted with a date
I can’t be trusted with a heart
Love me when I stay but I’m a runner from the start
I’m a runner from the start
My feet hit ground at sunrise and I’ll keep running until it’s dark
I’m sorry
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She said, “Wait, whatchu really living for?
The fuckboy life, or you want more? It ain’t the high road if you cut corners
Look around you got one foot on a good thing and one out the door
So whatchu in it for?
I’m not gonna wait up
If you keep making deals with the devil,
One day you gon’ have to pay up
And recognize you wasted a better life
Acting like the whole thing’s televised
Stop it, knock it off, you not that important
No camera in the mirror, Truman why you performing
Look me in the eyes when you tell me that you’re better off alone
I see the pain in your face but you ignore it
She said, “men ain’t shit, you aren’t any different. You gon’ end up all alone. You don’t stand for anyone or anything”
I said,
“Wait, hold up woah”
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it, this is how I’m living
She don’t get it
It isn’t how it used to be
I took all the tom up out my foolery
Never been the masculine type
A secret under wraps and I was making a light
Ain’t had a sabbath in sight
How I lavish in a self-made image
Built a casket for my wrath and put my past self in it
It’s a path I forged so I could travel untethered to where I’m headed
Found what matters in a new beginning
She don’t get it
This is how I’m living now
It isn’t how it used to be
She don’t get it
And she never will
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5. |
HELLRAISER
03:13
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I don’t wanna change myself for you
I just wanna wear my hoops
Lookin cute like a baddie would do
Don’t wanna please nobody else but myself
You could tell I’m a hell raiser, yeah baby
You got a lot on the table why don’t you deal me in?
I’m like Petrushka, I’m tangled the way you reel me in
You only open your arms wide when you need a fix
Tracking the marks see if the needle fit
What you need bliss for
I don’t see no, hear no, speak no threefold chimp
No peace when I’m here but i feel you feel me let evil in
The season for leaving oughta be now right now
Upheaval I think I need a lift
I might be a they I might be a them
I might fuck with her I might fuck with him
I’m always on the way to another function you won’t ever have a stay a say in who I fuck with
Baby I’m an H E double L Raiser
If you hate me I could tell baby
By the look in your partner’s eyes
By the look in your partner’s eyes
I don’t wanna change myself for you
I just wanna wear my hoops
Lookin cute like a baddie would do
Don’t wanna please nobody else but myself
You could tell I’m a hell raiser, yeah baby
I don’t wanna change myself for you
I just wanna wear my hoops
Lookin cute like a baddie would do
Don’t wanna please nobody else but myself
You could tell I’m a hell raiser, yeah baby
22 on the 22nd i got nothing here left to lose
i put a shoe on the pedal
looking better in the hoops and the black wings
you did a bad thing
you want it back
run it back
what the past bring
last one
last thing
last summer
last spring
trio when i spaz like it’s jazz and i’m nat king
ain’t nobody match me yet
ain’t nobody pass me yet
lay it on me ask me if i
I would like to do this for the rest of my life
i know backstabbing judas in my lap with a knife
i got love
i got truth
i got blood on my shoes
ali baba i got juked
i got nothing but juice
they want the pain and the proof
and the faith and the truth
spending days in my room
couple days till i’m loose
raise hell for myself ain’t it
you could tell i’m a hell raiser yeah baby
I don’t wanna change myself for you
I just wanna wear my hoops
Lookin cute like a baddie would do
Don’t wanna please nobody else but myself
You could tell I’m a hell raiser, yeah baby
I don’t wanna change myself for you
I just wanna wear my hoops
Lookin cute like a baddie would do
Don’t wanna please nobody else but myself
You could tell I’m a hell raiser, yeah baby
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6. |
Ready To Fold
03:33
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I’ve been on the phone w/ my therapist like
I’m scared to miss the funeral when my uncle pass
Now I’m begging you been calling Peggy sue
I’m turning Buddy Holly going up to crash
Running with my shoes untied and heavy eyelids
I know I’m gonna trip
I got Bloody knees, I bruised my pride
Gonna lose my mind if i don’t jump the ship
Life’s a losing game
Like Who’s to blame
My world or my bad decisions
I am yes, that selfish, I built the frame and I don’t fit inside the picture
I might disappoint you, I might disappear,
I prolly dip my work unfinished
You are more right now then I will ever be
or find in any word I’ve ever written
I’m about my business boy,
All that risk reward
I hit my tipping point
And then I bit the bullet,
Bang bang the boy fell down
If they try to say they kill me,
They didn’t do it
They didn’t do it
I loaded the barrel with bullshit
Who did it? I put the fear in my eyes
Me and myself alone are my greatest demon
I’m the only reason that I’m terrified
I been digging holes for myself and my darkest secrets,
Put a message in a bottle and hoping nobody read it
This my last writ call Lazarus
Got an anchor on my ankle I’m swimming down in the deep end
Please someone take my hand
Please someone ease my mind
Please don’t leave tonight
Read every word I write
Please this only thing it’s the only thing
Break my hands and hold me down I think I’m ready to fold
Today my friends will know
look, I don’t wanna die but I wouldn’t mind
peace and quiet
I see in black and white
But I been bluer than a field of violet
My last rose died
I been fiendin for black of my eyelids
I don’t really sleep
That’s where my demons hide
Buried my fear in my dreams,
Dig deep inside
Quick read the lines
Quit, sew the seeds
And plant some peace of mind,
pick up the pieces of my feeble mind,
my love die young
my friends drive fast
my darkness sick
my light don’t last
my heart gave in
my people passed
my room is empty
my ceiling s cracked
how you think it feels to be this careful
i walk on eggshells and sleep on a bed of nails
but my heart is in the right place, right
it sucks here, but it oughta be better there
im so lost
can’t find a crack in the rock face to cling on
not afraid of looking down
it’s the top I'm scared to be on
my whole life a free climb
my last year a free fall
don’t trust me when i tell you i don’t need y’all
you keep me floating
i can’t be grounded
one slip up and I'ma lose my balance
ima lose my head, I'ma break my back
if my pain gets out i might just move this mountain
my eyes are cloudy
the sky is crying
i don’t want to die but i wouldn’t mind some peace and quiet
oh i love the noise
oh i need the silence
oh i need more time
but everybody dies young
everybody dies young
Break my hands and hold me down I think I’m ready to fold
Today my friends will know
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7. |
Sage
03:39
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I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
I might feel safe in the stars
I might light sage in your car
I might burn bridges wherever I am
Wherever you are
I put my faith in a faraway place I saw in a picture frame
In between what I’m missing and what I found in your arms
I found safety in the greatest beyond
Ask me if you’ll take me someday
You say after you’re gone
I think maybe you could ask me how to say what I want
I want to be where you are
I want to be where you are
I want it now
I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
Need a place to think
Need a way to follow through
Leave me on my own
I don’t know what’s stopping you
I don’t wanna call
I don’t have the option to
I don’t wanna fall
Look me in the eyes
I don’t know what’s stopping you
I just wanna talk to you
I just wanna speak my truth
I don’t know what’s keeping you
I don’t ever think things through
Burn sage to air out the air of you
I don’t know what’s keeping me
Living in a fever dream
I can’t breathe I don’t know how without you
I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
I’ve been stuck with my face in the ground
I miss fucking around
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8. |
||||
Cold cup and a hand rolled
Otis sang our morning to an anthem
My days got so good when you became the and one
Hand in a slightly smaller hand in tandem
You finally made me grab my camera
Somebody called me handsome
You told me I’m divine
Lilah tricked Samson over boxed wine
Real love goes vanilla to an off-white
I hid your secret in my lungs and then I coughed mine
I might - I might end up just like you
Twenty something and still living like I missed my youth
My mind ain’t justice
When it pictures you
Might you remind me what a kiss might do
If i ever quit tripping
I’ma fix my shoes
I’ma fix this lip that I busted
When you bit mine blue
I might need another minute
We could kick till June
We could live like
I was never sentimental
But you fixed my
I don’t ever want to give my…
But to you
But to you
I think you’re divine
I think you’re divine
Divine
Divine
Rolling up divinity
An olive branch
A bread-breaking swisher sweet
Mardi Gras marching
To a Dilla beat
It’s time I…
I finally put a word on what you meant to me
Kick-flip, a two-step skip to what it’s finna be
A Polaroid, popsicle sticks, picture a Christmas tree
Holidays were bittersweet
I couldn’t put my finger on it
Then i met mine
Learned it doesn’t take three to make a man
or otherwise person wise
I know what real love should look like
Before I didn’t know what real love could look like
You are a heavenly creature like a lamb of god
I thought I saw a lion in my paradise
I was running through the garden like a marathon
You treat a heart so precious when you carry mine
I’ve got a butterfly stomach when i’m close to you
I’m seeing stars like an old cartoon
Found out I was missing half
When you showed me what the whole heart do
Revelations when I spoke to you
Tell me with your lips what mine told you
It must be something like,
I think you’re divine
I think you’re divine
Divine
Divine
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9. |
Stay (prod. Wilkjayy)
03:05
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Every time I close my eyes I see your face
Every time you say goodbye
I wish that you would stay
Wonder if you look both ways
stay
when you cross my mind
baby i could change yours
i don’t wait this time
i don’t wanna waste yours
don’t know what to say
i wrote it feeling low when im
home without you
i don’t wanna chase highs
i being seeing out of focus,
seeing out of focus
praying you would stay for the solstice
take me with a grain of salt
i aint gonna change but it’s
oh . shit. you.
close my eyes i see you closed yours too
seeing colors never felt so blue
lately i been fuckin antisocial,
and i can’t control it
not another minute
running circles ill be breaking orbit
can’t control it, damn it all
im fading out of focus
close my eyes and it’s a fading portrait
praying i could see your face again i miss
waking up in heaven every morning
you got see me soon it’s just another day
i aint gonna play this time
i aint with the games this time
all i want is you all i want is you
beautiful you, beautiful day
all i want is you to stay with me,
i know it’s just another day but
Every time I close my eyes I see your face
Every time you say goodbye
I wish that you would stay
Every time I close my eyes I see your face
Every time you say goodbye
I wish that you would stay
i wonder if you speak my name
i can’t get away from it
nothings gonna take you
break you
make you feel the same from it
running like i seen your face coming
knowing that’ll be the day won’t it
i’ll choked up when you show love but
but you know i'll never say nothing
i want you to stay with me
and help me feel it love
wait until I say my piece
then i’m leaving love
i might never
shake this fear
i’ll never be enough
i’ll never say the thing you wanna hear
unless i mean it love
i been caught up with it
falling in it
need a fix
her needle thin
I'm feeling empty
tell me this ain't all i need though
this can’t be all i need though
I've been codependent
rolling in it
loaded and
unloaded it
I'm outta focus
woe is this and
yes is no is
over out
I dug my grave and dove in it
Now I’m in the deep end
drowning
Ain't nowhere to breathe around me
could it be a dream
i doubt it
i don’t wanna pretend now
are you gonna leave me out here
am i gonna see you round
i don’t wanna speak about
when i told you that - every time i close my eyes
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10. |
Exhale
01:09
|
|||
Everyday I marvel at existence
Deep breath
I thank the stars that I’m still here
Despite cast judgement and stones
Despite cracks in the skin and walls and foundation of this lonely little glass home
Everyday I marvel at existence
Deep breath
I thank the stars that I’m still here
|
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